As a child, I often felt disconnected from the people around me. In communities where I rarely saw others who looked like me, I became painfully aware of my differences - my tanned skin, my flatter nose, my eyes. These features made me feel out of place, and over time, that discomfort turned inward. Even within my own family, I struggled to feel beautiful, constantly comparing myself to Filipino beauty standards that I didn’t quite fit.

Learning to accept my appearance has been a slow, sometimes painful journey. Looking back, it hurts to know how much time I spent as a child wishing I looked different - as if fitting in meant erasing myself.

In this piece, my present self (right) looks back at my younger self (left), who is caught in the act of wanting to blend in by pulling her eyes. It’s a quiet moment of looking at who I was, understanding what I let go of, and slowly learning to embrace it again.

Showcased in St. Edward’s University’s 2024 Student Juried Exhibition, curated by Sterling Allen (co-founder Okay Mountain Gallery), Fine Arts Gallery at St. Edward's University, Austin, TX.

Published in St. Edward’s University’s 2024 Sorin Oak Review Volume 34.